Chair dancing
Kerry and I were at a family reunion together, because we were related. My cousin’s husband Seth asked us to bring out chairs for people to sit in, and then went to announce that we were doing that, but he misspoke and said we were going to be doing some chair dancing. Some people gasped, and a grandmother who was neither of my grandmothers said she didn’t want that.
By way of apologizing, Seth told us to imagine Ewoks fucking. Kerry said she was doing OK, but all I could visualize was an undifferentiated field of brown fur.
Then the reunion moved into a really poorly-lit high school auditorium and most of the people, including Kerry, didn’t come. Jon was there, because he was organizing a benefit concert for China at the auditorium. He was upset that no one except for some of my family came (there were more empty seats than filled ones), but I kept thinking he was mad at me because I couldn’t convince more of my family to come.
The concert was supposed to be a bunch of musical acts with guest speakers in between, but at the last minute all the speakers canceled. The only person we could find to replace them was a woman from my work named Toby who is probably under five feet tall and has a big bulge in her face under one of her eyes that makes it point sideways. She’s very nice and funny, but she wasn’t connecting to the audience at all. Jon kept saying “This is gonna be terrible, this is gonna be terrible,” but I had no sympathy and kept rolling my eyes at him.
