Trying to Remember

Nationalism

When I left my therapy session I accidentally took my therapist’s notebook home with me. I knew I shouldn’t, but I read what he had written about me during the session. He wrote that my response to my situation was to struggle to create a pure, national music. He thought that this reaction made sense but was futile.

I was really startled and angry to learn that he had misinterpreted what I told him so badly, and also disturbed by the fact that he seemed to think that this goal, which struck me as verging on fascistic, made sense. I decided to stop seeing him.

Then I started flipping through the rest of the notebook scanning other entries about other patients to see if there was anything about lesbian sex. There wasn’t anything, or at least I didn’t see anything. It was hard to tell, because the handwriting was different for each patient and sometimes it was pretty much illegible.